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YOU
CANNOT imagine the pleasure and pride I felt when the 27-year-old Texan
cyclist Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France race so convincingly and
in such style. I felt I had to share in his glory. It was almost
as if I had ridden down the Champs Elysees and into the Place de la
Concorde myself. I knew what he was going through, for I was reminded
of the intense emotions which I felt in 1981 when I won the Grand
National on Aldaniti. You see, Lance and I have one thing in common. We
are lucky to be alive - far less winning international races. For we
have both survived testicular cancer and gone on to live full and
demanding lives. I don't want to appear arrogant about our
achievements. My hope is that other cancer sufferers can learn from our
experience and gain the confidence and determination which is utterly
crucial - with the best professional treatment, of course - if they are
to fight back and defeat this most feared of diseases. I am
convinced many sufferers die because they have - understandably - lost
the will to live. They have given up the struggle for survival. I
should know, because it almost happened to me. Now I give thanks that I
was given the strength of will to carry on. It is shattering for
a tough and healthy young man to be told that he has cancer. When the
bad news was broken to me, I simply assumed that, whatever words of
encouragement the specialists might utter, my life was coming to an end. Cancer
was still a dirty word in those days and all that ordinary people such
as me knew about it was that it was appallingly painful and ended in
death. The idea that you could go through the valley of the shadow of
death and come out cured was unthinkable. No wonder that, after
two painful operations and intensive chemotherapy (much more brutal 20
years ago than it is today) I was on the verge of abandoning my
treatment and walking out of the Royal Marsden Hospital in London. The
specialist had told me that I had only a 50/50 chance of surviving the
cancer and the treatment. I felt, as a racing man, that I could not
take any more pain and suffering. The odds were simply not good enough.
(These days, I stress, chemotherapy is more sophisticated and 90pc of
men in my condition survive). I was not married and had no
children. I was my own man, master of my fate. So I persuaded myself
that my fear was, in fact, courage and I made my decision. I would go
back to riding for as long as I could and if (as seemed certain) my
rebellion against treatment killed me, so be it. I'd had a good run for
my money. Looking back, I can only shake my head at what an
appalling pit of despair that was for a young man of 30 with the world
before him to have stumbled into. The young nurse I told of my worry
suggested that I walk round the hospital before making my decision. I
did so, and I saw the children's ward. I sometimes wonder whether
she deliberately pointed me in that direction. Be that as it may, there
were youngsters undergoing chemotherapy at least as severe as mine, and
doing so without fuss or self pity. I was flooded with disgust at my
weakness, went back to my ward and told my friend the nurse I was
determined to fight on. As soon as I left hospital I was invited
to stay with my sister Mary, her husband Richard and their two children
- Emma, then five, and Nick who was younger. What a wonderful gesture
that was, for few parents with young children would happily invite a
man who might well be terminally ill with cancer into their home
without some anxieties about the shattering effect it might have on the
youngsters. In fact, it was once again children who gave me strength.
Mary decided she was a nurse and she spent hours every day nursing me
back to health. Nick was really too young to know what was happening,
but he was terrific. 'I was in despair, but the courage of the children inspired me to fight on'I
told myself I could not possibly let them down by giving up at the last
hurdle. However awful I felt from time to time, I knew that I had to
fight on for the sake of those who believed in me. For me, the next
step was to set myself goals. I told myself I would be back in the
saddle by spring. In fact, it took six months longer than I anticipated
but I did make it. Then my troubles really began. My muscles had
atrophied and my lungs were in a fearful state. But I knew that, as a
jockey, there was no middle way. I had to give up or to rebuild my
body. I chose the latter course and six months to the day after I
climbed painfully back into the saddle, I entered my first race - and
won. The feeling of sheer triumph was almost undescribable. During
those gruelling six months I had envied patients who were going back to
sit behind desks. They did not need to get back into the peak of
condition in order to work. I was wrong, of course. Rebuilding my body
was an essential part of my recovery and it made it possible for me to
enter - and win - the Grand National. That is why I value Lance
Armstrong's comment after his Tour de France victory: 'This is a
special, special day for me. But even more importantly it is a victory
for all victims of cancer everywhere. If I have brought a little belief
that there can be life after cancer then I am a happy man. I stand here
as proof that it is possible to return from this terrible illness to a
normal existence.' My sentiments exactly, Lance. But at your moment of triumph you expressed them so much better than ever I could have done. THE Bob Champion Cancer Trust, 6 Old Garden House, The Lanterns, Bridge Lane, London SW11 3AD; tel: 0171-9243553. By Bob Champion Daily Mail (27th July 1999)
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